When my wife and I were first married, and despite the fact that we were both trained Clinical Social Workers, we found it quite difficult to negotiate new roles in our relationship. Both of us were convinced that if the other would just do things the way we did (which really meant the way our family of origin did), then things would be fine.

Pam and I came from very different backgrounds. I was raised as a Quaker while she was raised Jewish. That difference was a big part of what attracted us to each other.

I valued her outgoing nature and willingness to jump into new experiences and she valued my calm groundedness. Once we were married however, the shadow sides of these qualities started to nag at us.

I wish I could say that our great wisdom drawn from our training and experience counseling others allowed us to easily forge a new family, but I am afraid not! We had been married about a year and we were fighting a lot with one another. We needed help desperately.

After our first therapist told us to get a divorce (long story), we gave up on therapy and tried ‘lets make a deal’  which meant that we shared out chores and we each agreed to behave in certain ways and not in others. That sort of worked but, well, not really.

It wasn’t until we started learning ‘Mind Control’ in the early 1990s that we were able to start dramatically fixing our relationship.

Our first attempt at the magic of mind control occurred when we got training in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). NLP really began as a method of changing people’s experience of their problems.

Guess what though?

That didn’t much help our relationship. Now we just had something else to resent. NLP is a great body of work and can do some powerful things but we quickly discovered that manipulating each other’s experience of reality was not a good foundation for relationship!

Somewhat later as we continued to search, we came across the work of Tapas Flemming, Roger Callahan and then Gary Craig, and eagerly sought out training from them.

We really got the secret of mind control from Tapas Flemming.

Tapas taught us that the mind we need to control is our own, and that the judgments we were making of each other were really nothing more than projected limiting beliefs.

In other words, my judgment of Pam had its roots in my own limiting beliefs and her judgments of me had their roots in her limiting beliefs.

Eureka!

We finally discovered that we didn’t need to change each other, all we had to do was to take responsibility for our own feelings and judgments.

So we went on vacation to Mexico and did that. We treated each other for our judgments and discovered all sorts of things about ourselves, and we also discovered that the anger or hurt or resentments we felt toward each other had nothing to do with the other person.

Don’t believe me? Try this out…

Think of someone you care about, and think of a judgment you hold about him or her. Judgments generally take the form of “He’s not…”, “She won’t..”, He’s…or “I can’t … with him”. For example: “She doesn’t find me attractive.” Or, “He’s a slob.”

Notice how it feels to have the judgment. You will probably notice a bad feeling somewhere in your body. For example, you might feel sadness in your chest. That feeling is yours, not your partner’s. Sit with that feeling and say these lines of Ask and Receive**:

There is a part of my being that already nows how to heal and release this feeling, all of its roots and it’s point of entry.
That part of my being is willing to inform the rest of me now.
It is doing so now with grace and ease.
My mind, body and spirit are receiving this information.
Information transfer is now complete.

**Oh, BTW– Ask and Receive is a powerful technique that accesses a higher, wiser part of you to make any change that you wish to make. To do this, it uses the power of the word in the form of 5 simple sentences. Also, this technique was created Sandi Radomski, Pam and I!

Now check with the feeling again. Has it shifted? If not, you might need to do an Ask and Receive for:

It is safe for me to heal and release this feeling.
That part of my being is willing to inform the rest of me now.
It is doing so now with grace and ease.
My mind, body and spirit are receiving this information.
Information transfer is now complete.

Or:

It is possible for me to heal and release this feeling.
That part of my being is willing to inform the rest of me now.
It is doing so now with grace and ease.
My mind, body and spirit are receiving this information.
Information transfer is now complete.

If your feeling is being very stubborn, please go to www.askandreceive.org for more information about this powerful technique.

Once the feeling fades, think about the judgment again and apply it to yourself. For example, if the original judgment was, “He doesn’t find me attractive”— consider possible limiting beliefs such as, “I don’t think I am attractive” or “I don’t find him attractive”. With a little effort you will always find beliefs that will resonate with you as the key one.

Now treat the belief where it lives within you:

There is a part of my being that already knows how to heal and release this belief (state the belief) all of its roots and its point of entry.
That part of my being is willing to inform the rest of me now.
It is doing so now with grace and ease.
My mind, body and spirit are receiving this information.
Information transfer is now complete.

Notice what happens to the belief as you do this. Again, you may need to also throw in some treatment for safety and possibility before it feels like it completely shifts.

How is that for mind control?

Just wait. Now that you have eliminated that judgment you will discover that the attitudes and behaviors that you once saw in your partner will change. And now they are not changing because you manipulated him but because you healed yourself!

How cool is that?

Now to make it even cooler…

We have found that most of us have the same limiting beliefs that we are projecting out onto others.

That’s right, even your most intimate, negative judgments are not original to you. We all hold them. That is why Pam and I put together two audio TeleClearings to help clear all of our shared limiting judgments and negative beliefs.

(A TeleClearing is a guided meditation in which we lead you through a process to instruct your higher self to download information to your current level of consciousness. It is designed to help as many people as possible jumpstart their way to what they desire.)

Here is some more information about what we are offering:

TeleClearing for Relationships

In this hour and a half TeleClearing, Pam and I lead you through clearing your limiting beliefs about yourself, friends, children and even intimate relationships. This TeleClearing is intended to jump start you toward satisfying, loving, and joy filled relationships.

TeleClearing for Unconditionally Loving that Sometimes

Challenging Person

All of us have challenging people in our lives, people who are there for the long hall but who are hard for us to love at times. Whether this person is a boss, a sister or brother, an ex spouse, a teenager or a self involved parent, they are part of our lives. They are in our lives to help us grow and to release our fears and judgments.

Loving someone is hard work and not for the faint of heart. Unless we are living in a cave, all of us have relationships in our lives that challenge us to stay open and loving.

Lets give our loved ones a real and lasting gift of love. Lets learn how to really love them as they are, warts and all! Even better, you can get this for your special person and both of you can use it to release your judgment and negative feelings for each other!

Want to give it a try? Click below to purchase and download these audio programs along with their short pdf scripts for only $20.00.

Today if you purchased them from the Ask and Receive website they would cost you $44.00 but we really want to let you give Ask and Receive a try and discover what a powerful Mind Control technique it is!

With Love and Gratitude,

Tom Altaffer (and Pam)